Communication - the family meeting

Well due to events of the last week I am going to go out on a slight tangent this week for my blog post. Something that I feel is very important even in a family setting is communication. Communication allows us to one get our point across and two get feedback to learn where we might be wrong. So this week I am going to talk about my views of communication and why I think that it is one of the most important things that you can teach your children.

Communication has many aspects to it, and many ways that it can be done. Let’s first talk about the ways you can communicate. With all the technology today there are so many ways to communicate, so many more then there was when I was younger. There is Facebook, twitter, Instant messenger, e-mail, blogs, hand written/ type written letters, phone, person to person, text, Skype, and so many more that I might not even know. With all of these options communication should never be a problem, but in some families it still seems to be an issue (more on this later).

The aspects of communication are very simple. You have a sender who sends the message and a messenger who receives the message and sends feedback. In my opinion the most important part of this process if the feedback, the reason that I think this is the most important part is because without feedback you cannot learn and we should all be “learning through life”. From a parent to a child, feedback can be as simple as a pat on a back for a good job or it can be the response to a cry. From a child to a parent, it can be a simple understanding of a rule or chore or it can be a child stating how they feel about something said. Without this information, we go on doing things wrong and hence never learn.

We are always learning. The learning process is something that should never end and that is why I see it as a very important part of a family. So many people are so busy with their own lives that they cannot see that there children are struggling to see the meaning of things that you say and do. When children fail to see the meaning of these things, the kids move away from their families and feel left behind or abandoned by their families. If parents would take the time to teach their children to communicate properly, then if something is misunderstood it can be created. This is also a great tool to prevent mom and dad from getting so involved in themselves that they do not understand each other anymore.

The family meeting is designed to be a safe place to show emotions, ask for clarification, and plain have a say in your daily life. Once a week everyone in the family should sit down to a nice meal (as long as your all there, it does not matter what you eat). At this nice meal each person is going to have a chance to talk (baby would be there to experience the conversation). This is a time for you to talk about your day/week, what your good and bad points of the week were, what your schedule for next week is, and if you need any help anything. As your children get older they can have a say on their weekly chores and what they would like to do during the week, also if a child has opinion this is a “safe time” for them to express it without being yelled or laughed at. Remember this is a “safe time” for everyone, so no getting mad when someone says they do not like something. Also I know that there are something’s that you do not want to discuss in front of the kids, and after the kids are in bed, that is when mom and dad will discuss those things.

I hope that this helps any families who are struggling with this aspect to see that this is important. I also hope that some of you take a look at my idea and make your own “family meetings” because this tool is very important. The nice thing about this idea is that you can modify it in a way that will work with your family, for instance let’s say that your family is growing up, and some of your kids have moved away… well in this instance you can have a meeting once a week for everyone that is living at home, and maybe one once a month (even if someone  has to be via phone or Skype) for everyone in the family, that keeps everyone in the loop and no one person feels left out.